Children grow at their own pace, and comparing yours to your friends’ can be challenging. In today’s society, we’re encouraged to focus on our little ones’ strengths and not worry about what other toddlers are doing, but at some point, the differences may become obvious. This begs the question: When is it okay to admit my child needs a little extra help?
The reality is that, for various reasons, developmental disabilities in children are on the rise. The number of diagnosed conditions, including autism and learning disabilities, has increased to nearly 1 in 31 children from ages 3-21. If you’re concerned that your young child isn’t developing as you expected within areas like speech, motor skills, problem-solving, or social-emotional growth, it doesn’t mean it’s time to panic. Early support makes a huge difference in long-term outcomes.
Look for these signs that your toddler might benefit from extra developmental support to get them on track to an independent, thriving future.
Recognizing “Normal” Developmental Milestones
It can be challenging for new parents to know what’s normal and what’s not, especially if they haven’t been around many toddlers. First, let’s clarify what “normal” means in childhood development. Every child is unique, but doctors and behaviorists use normal toddler development milestones to monitor growth.
In general, ages 1–3 are characterized by “rapid brain growth, increasing independence, and refinement of motor, language, and social skills” (Johns Hopkins Medicine). During this time, you should see milestones such as early and more independent walking and running, 2-word sentence communication, and playing alongside (though not always with) peers.
Note that these are general guidelines. Your little one might not begin or master these milestones until the end of the timeframe, and that’s okay. Now, we’ll look at what might be considered a delay in the development areas.
Speech and Language Delays
Speech and language delays are often harder to recognize. Parents learn to “communicate” with their children early, understanding their grunts and babbles, so the lack of words can seem innocent and normal. However, if your child isn’t using single words by the time they’re 15-18 months (think: mama, dada, milk, etc.), or two-word phrases by the time they’re 2 years old, look for other signs of off-milestone development.
Children should also understand simple instructions during this period. If your little one is doing limited babbling or doesn’t seem to follow basic commands, like “Arms up!” or “Where’s your nose?”, it may be time to talk to your pediatrician about getting a speech evaluation and extra support from an ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) therapist, as discussed in this article by Behavior Span.
Motor Skills Delays or Concerns
Children learn to walk at their own rate, too. Some little ones are perfectly happy crawling everywhere, while others want the independence that comes with standing. Slow walkers alone aren’t necessarily a motor skill concern, but other delays are something to pay attention to, such as:
- Your child is trying to walk but is struggling with balance after 18 months.
- They have difficulty grasping small objects or eating by themselves.
- Their clumsiness is more than what you’d expect for their age.
- They crawl, but it’s “lop-sided” or sideways.
- They walk on their toes.
- Muscles are either overly stiff or “floppy.”
- They prefer one hand over the other by age one (hand dominance) and aren’t using both hands to grasp objects.
One of these factors might be a slower development, but more than one is a warning that it’s time to talk to a professional for more guidance.
Social, Emotional, and Cognitive Delays
Autism spectrum disorder and other developmental disorders are often characterized by social, emotional, and cognitive differences. However, since toddlers are notoriously self-focused and focused on their needs, it can be challenging to tell when their desire to play alone is normal versus something to be concerned about.
If you’re concerned that your little one is showing delays, look for these behavioral signs:
- They make limited eye contact with other people, don’t respond when you call them by name, or have very few facial expressions.
- They always prefer to play alone rather than with peers or caregivers.
- You notice they react “extremely” to sensations (touch, sound, smell, taste) or changes in routine.
- Older toddlers (18 months and up) struggle to follow instructions, transition between activities, or remember routines like brushing teeth, getting dressed, and other consistent motions.
- They don’t seem to have curiosity about activities.
- Their movements are repetitive instead of imaginative.
These signs show a possible delay in cognitive or behavioral development, and they’re exactly what early developmental support is designed to help.
Conclusion
Developmental delays don’t have to be a reason to worry about your child’s future indefinitely. Early support through speech therapy, occupational therapy, and other resources might be enough to bridge the gap between their delay and “normal” activities. Even in more advanced cases, this early help ensures your toddler receives the tools they need to improve their communication, social skills, and independence.
If you’re concerned your child may not be developing alongside the traditional milestones, document what you notice, and have an open conversation with your pediatrician. With the right guidance, early developmental struggles can turn into a stronger relationship between you and your child.
